Friday, August 10, 2007

From the Writing Journal -- Assymetry and Pain

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Once I was a little boy playing barefoot on the clover beneath maple trees beside a sleepy small-town street, but that was so long ago and so far away. Sometimes, especially late at night, I try to reach out across the cosmos and grab that time again, to pull myself back toward it, but other times I just catch a glance back, like watching scenery sail away through a rear window.

The hog feeder lids tapped the night away in asymmetrical rhythms, and it made me regret living with a man [my father] who found joy in raising animals, and it made me feel sorry for the hogs, and I quit eating ham or bacon, because I never knew if this might be an animal I had known, or perhaps a distant offspring. So early on I decided the farm life was not for me, and I concluded Oliver Wendell Douglas was one deluded son-of-a-bitch wanting to leave a wealthy law firm for a dirt farm.

______________________

Asymmetry – the fusion of disparate shapes into an awkward montage that, nevertheless, was continuously leading the eye in all sorts of pleasing directions.


Monday, August 06, 2007

I should just pour my heart out while it is full – full of hurt and confusion, full of dismay – I am grieving, grieving because of those who withdraw their lives from me. They are not dead, but they have pulled out of my life, so I am heartbroken – I am grieving, I am in mourning, my heart hurts to badly it feels as if it might burst, it feels so heavy that it just might fall and never get up. That is how I feel. How do you describe a feeling of such utter pain in a way that someone else can feel it. That’s the gift I need as a writer, the gift to be able to take someone else by the hand and lead them into the place where I am. First of all, I suppose I need to explore the place myself, because exploration can perhaps lead to understanding and healing.

2 comments:

Megan said...

I may perhaps know how you feel... My father did this to me.

I'm sorry you hurt and for those reasons the most- I am sorry. I will pray for you and know I think of you often. You've become a friend through your blog, I check often to see if you have written.

<3 You know how to get ahold of me if you want to talk.

Megan said...

Because myspace is being all buggy, I will post it here, I like this song a lot-

Bee gees sang it first, but I like this version too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pZ5ZmagaYI

if that doesn't work- look up Sia & Inara George singing 'How deep is your love?' on youtube.